Sunday, December 11, 2011

Guest Post: Sex


MALICE in Wonderland


I would like to talk to you about sex.

Now, if this is a gallery packed with people with me as the speaker, I’ll probably get oohhs and ahhhs at the mere mention of such frivolous three letter word. Others might give me boos while others will surely choose to leave. And then the people who remain pinned down in their seats will be called perverts and me, their gang leader.

But I’m no sex guru, and by the age of twenty four I hardly got any experience as much as a five year old kid. I’m not even here to talk about the thousand positions the combined Kama Sutra and online websites compiled for the pleasure of couples, even groups. I’m here to ask you, what are the first things that come in your mind by the mere mention of the word sex?

Throughout the course of this millennia, sex has been branded as the devil, the harlot in full red flowing sinful silk, tempting the good and the kind. Sex has been blamed for people's many mischief and deluge of horrors. Last, there was an article here I read which blamed it for marriage's doom. Sex is also blamed for people's sickness. Sex is the cause of early teen pregnancies. Sex is why there are so many gays nowadays. Sex is vile. Sex is corrupt and that sex equates to the devil's fork, sticking in anybody's ass turning everybody sluts and whores.

What most people don't realise is that they're blaming a three letter word thing that doesn't even think for itself. People are forgetting it is our mind, chief among anything, which decides for our person. We think for ourselves therefore we decide for ourselves. We do sex according to our mind play. It is just the mere act, to succumb to its enticing power, to delight in its promised pleasure, the task lies in our hands. The virtue of decision is ours and therefore, whatever end it might brought, we imposed that to ourselves and not sex.

I would like to dispel the common knowledge that sex is vile. It is not. It is our mind that is full of vile, full of stereotypes and full of prejudices. Humans are the one who made it the way it is viewed today. Humans behind religious temples and humans that are so shallow minded that the truth is binded by the few petty things their minds are capable of fathoming.

“To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slaps on the genitals,” said a certain Don Shrader. If a person talks about sex, he's definitely a maniac. If a person admits he's engaging in sex, he's a pervert. If a woman is no more a virgin before marriage, she's a slut. And I think many would agree that writers who write about sex, especially in defense of it, is a proven sex addict. Won’t you?

It is normal to think about sex. No one has to worry about it, thinking he’s committing one of the most cardinal sin the man ever had the misfortune of devising. More so, of talking about it. In a symposium for her proposed Reproductive Health Bill, Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago asked her audience, a bunch of college boys and girls, “who isn’t interested in sex?” No one dared raised his/her hand and there were buzz of murmurs from the crowd. And then she spoke once more: “Kung hindi ka interesado magpagamot ka, abnormal yan!” (If you’re not interested, take yourself for a check-up. That’s not normal!”)

Sex is a reality many people pretend to be non-existent. Sex is there whether we like it or not. Every second, every minute of the day across all the dates of the calendar, people are having sex. It is the truth. And truth is inconvertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is, glaring in full color of reality.

I am not advocating sex. I am not telling people to go strip your clothes and hump everything you'll see or for the boys to go dive straight away under women's skirts. I'm also not saying that we should incorporate talks about sex whenever and whenever we feel wanting to. All I’m saying is there's nothing wrong about talking about, or as with this case, writing about it. Even engaging with the act itself, there's nothing fundamentally wrong about it as long as you know your limitations, your responsibility and the consequences that might follow or might come haunting after. It is about choice. In refusing to talk about it, in slapping on malicious connotations with it, only not hinder the better understanding towards sex especially for the youth, but we're also destroying the honest point about sex.

Now let’s go back to my first question about what comes first upon mention of the word sex. After reading this boorish write-up, compare those thoughts on your current thoughts. If somehow along the way, you stopped and think and instead of being horse headed, you nod and twitch a bit, then probably, somehow, my worth here is proved. If not, then it’s always worth the try.



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"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." - Henry Miller



About the Blogger:

Désolé Boy (pronunciation: day-zo-lay, a French word meaning “sorry”) is a 24 year old full time news writer for ABS-CBN News, part-time television entertainment researcher and production staff and a noob film-maker. A former activist, he writes in a wide range topic from politics to self expression and non-prose. Reliving his former life as a young musician, he now relish the old times playing the piano in his mother's attic, watching operas and supporting young musicians. Color blind, bi-polar on the verge of schizophrenia are few among his known illnesses. He enjoys reading Didion, Larsson, Carroll and Coelho and loves walking barefoot on the sand, contemplating on how painful it would be to die a virgin.

Twitter: desoleboy
Website: Desole Boy
Mail: desoleboy@yahoo.com


Author’s Note:

Many thanks to Leah for allowing me space here, as my blog is on the verge of its self-imposed demolition. Also, compliments to my iBlogger friends. You guys know how much you inspire me, yes? Agreement or disagreement or any way you want to react, don’t be afraid to message me.

42 comments:

  1. nasa tao kung ano ang pagkakaintindi nila sa sex. pero for me, sex should be paired with love.

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  2. SEX- is my favorite Sinangag Express hihi! Kidding aside for me Sex is a physiological need, it's a part of human nature.Nagiging abnormal lang siya kapag may excessive production ng neurotransmitter ang tawag dito sa mga babae ay Nymphomaniac at sa mga lalaki naman ay Satyriasis. My favorite lesson in Pysch 101 haha!

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  3. nymphomaniac and satyriasis what nice name sila na lang kaya ang mag sama.panigurado magiiba ang kulay ng paligid ano pluripotent nurse salamat sa pagbahagi nito. At kay desole boy hanga ako sa iyong paniniwal ukol dito.

    For the couple
    It is a demonstration of intense love for each other

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  4. Hindi ako nakarelate...LOL

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  5. wala akong masabi, hehe! Hello na lang Ms Leah at sau desoleboy..

    ganda ng header mo Ms Leah! (header ba tawag jan, ung may malaki kang pics) hahaha!

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  6. ang galing ng pagkakagawa di na ko magtataka sa ay bi es si bi en sya nagwowork. parehas kami ni Akoni di kami makarelate. lmao

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  7. Sex is a tricky subject, but I do agree we should be less afraid to talk about it. Not educating people about sex properly is more likely to have caused higher teen pregnancy rates and higher levels of STD's, not the actual sex itself.

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  8. What comes to mind wind the word sex? Intimate love, pleasuring each other, being her gentleman.

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  9. Oh wow, it's great. No, I'm not referring to sex but this article - this is really great. What an awesome read!

    Yeah. Sex is a sin for most of us. And so is sex education. Don't quote me on that. Our priest said that. Hahaha.

    Sex is for me is an act of love. Period :)

    Gotta share this to everyone.

    PS. Nakakatuwa naman si Senator Miriam.

    Miriam Santiago for President!

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  10. what comes in my mind when i hear the word sex?!! ummmmm.....aaahhhh....uummmmm....

    pagkain ba yan?!

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  11. Hahaha.. nakakatawa naman yung comment ni Hoobert. Well, I would agree with Bino, sex should be paired with love.

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  12. ang sex ay ginagawa ng dalawang nag iibigan......pero mayroon din ang trip trip lang....dala ng kalasingan ay nagsesex....may sex din na involve ang pera....bumabayad sa girl para maka sex.....

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  13. sex......

    male or female.

    dedepende yan sa tao at kung paano nia iiinterpret.

    as example above... pagsinabing sex di naman ibig sabihin yung ACT mismo.. pedeng nagtatanong kung ikaw ba ay lalaki o babae. hahaah

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  14. Ang salitang SEX ay nasa tao kung paano niya ito elaborate or i describe. Sa panahon ngayon, dapat lang talaga na ma-educate ang mga mag-aaral tungkol dito.

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  15. hahaha, ang ganda ng article na to. the guest writer is really good. well, given that his background is...hehehe, that's what should be expected. two thumbs up!

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  16. ang pagiging kulang sa ideya about sex ang minsan nagiging dahilan kung bakit tayo nagkakamali. minsan in order to know it we need to explore it and in the end ayun.... may nabubuo... nice one lea and DB...

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  17. well-said..well-written..

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  18. being interested in sex comes from our natural instinct... problema sa iba panay instinct na lang ang pinaiiral... hahaha

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  19. What comes into my mind? Male o female. Hahaha, just kidding. Ang ganda ng post, agree ako sa author. Di ako yung conservative Pinoy type, kaya di na kagulat gulat sa'kin ang topic :) Salutes!

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  20. Lemme share you this quote from my BFF Marilyn,

    “Sex is part of nature. I go along with nature.”
    ― Marilyn Monroe

    'nuff said.

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  21. HE nailed it! Kakailang lang talaga minsan kapag pag-usapan pero sana naman lahat maging open-minded as long as it is a healthy discussion. Minsan kasi nagiging below the belt and usapan.

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  22. I like how he discusses sex :) May laman ang post na'to!

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  23. I can't believe that in this day and age some people still consider sex a sensitive topic. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

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  24. very nice post, good job desole...

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  25. sex is a beautiful thing. it's a gift from God who have created us as sexual beings in the first place.

    it should just be taken in the context of marriage.
    that's my two cents.

    http://cheaptravelforwomen.blogspot.com

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  26. Okay can't say anything about this topic na coz I think Desole Boy and all the commenters said it all.hihi One of my favorite topics when I am talking to my closest gay and girl friends.. :D

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  27. hahahha..I agree with Sen Santiago..mga ipokrita! hehehe..
    ..hmm i dont think just because you made this post your a sex addict na..
    stupid people and mangmang at ipokrita lang mag iisip nun..
    So to answer your question? when i was young like 25years old and below (30 now)..pag sinabing sex yung iniisip ko para lang yun sa mag asawa..so naive, I know..
    pero ng ma-inlove ako..wala na..I am a single mom..
    Sabi nga nila..sex is a beautiful thing..
    by the way I am from Bacolod..
    memorable sa akon ang Iloilo..as in! hehehe..

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  28. I'm quite lucky 'cause I wasn't taught sex = evil. Yes, it's not appropriate to do outside of marriage, especially for my age and for my religion. But, I'm very open to talk about it and it's not something as malicious as taboo as before. Unfortunately though, people who aren't matured enough use the word loosely so even at this age, it still has a bad name.. >.<

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  29. Sex is part of life .We were bor because of sex and some died because of it too.Sex has many interpretations.

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  30. Sex is very relative. It depends on how you've been brought up. If sex is not the usual thing being talked about when you're a kid, it is then no so important or being the subject of malice or evil connotation. Or if it is given due respect the time you're a kid, it is then being treated as a serious subject to talk about. In short, it is the mind that says so! If you think sex is bad, then it is bad. If you think it is good, then it is. Therefore, the thinker is the doer.

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  31. everybody's perceptions are really different from each other.
    one can think of initially as an act or just the deed and the list goes on..

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  32. Our thoughts on sex really depend on how we were brought up. In my family we are mum about it; we don't talk about it. So I got curious; all I know about sex, I've discovered and learned for myself. My parents still think that I don't know much about sex, but for me, I just want to be informed and not ignorant. It really isn't a vile thing.

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  33. sex is just malicious in a dirty mind. but in a world of misconception and suggestive manipulation, parental guidance is still necessary especially for your kids. Yahweh bless.

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  34. Sex! Everybody loves it but don't want to admit it.

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  35. Sex is sex..everyone needs it! ^_^

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  36. What a worthy read about SEX. Great article.

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  37. sometimes it is all in the mind and how a person got nurtured with this multifaceted walks of life.

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  38. Nw days sex is everythng from any relationshp as emotional

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  39. Good article. Sex is only a 3 letter word but so meaningful in this world.

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  40. Being married sex gives colours to our marriage life. BTW Take this as friendly message. SEX should be in the right time, right place and right person. :)

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  41. Sex is not a sin, but irresponsible sex is a sin.

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