Sunday, April 22, 2012

The Anonymous



*Two messages in one blog post. Divided. The first one's for my hater/stalker. And the second one's for the "concerned" person who left me a message in Formspring. I'm not sure if they're the same person. Or maybe the first one is a boy and the second one is a girl. Both are anonymous. Never left tracks. Please excuse me for the use of some nasty words. I'm sorry but I don't want to edit them anymore.




[Start Rant]

I've never thought that a single question on Formspring will get me fired up to make a blog post.

Napakaingay mo at immature! Bakit di ka pa mamatay?
Translation: You're so loud and immature. Why aren't you dead yet?




I got the same message last month. This person left a comment in my blog post and said the same thing. I don't know this person. He's so freakin' brave to not leave his name. Yeah. He left an anonymous comment wishing me dead.

I think it's safe to assume that this person is talking about me, being very loud on Twitter. And it's also correct to assume that this person is following me on Twitter. He or she does have a point. I talk/tweet too much. I know that. I am not denying that. And maybe he or she is not having any fun at all at reading my tweets.

Sure, Twitter is a true test of self-control. But it is also one of the best medium for self-expression. Twitter is a mini-blog. There, I am able to say what's on my mind in brief summaries. There, I'm able to communicate and have conversations with people from across the globe. There, I'm having fun.

Now tell me this. Why is it MY fault if you're not?

You.

I don't get why you really wish me dead. Did I do something to you? Did we even meet? Did we talk on Facebook or have conversations on Twitter? Have I pushed the wrong buttons, triggering such hostile emotions? What did I do? Did I steal your lunchbox or something? Did I eat your cookie?

Why do you hate me so much and wish that I'm dead? Why do you f+ckin attack me, bitch?

What I don't understand is.. if I am tweeting too much and I'm getting too "loud" for your taste, why do you have to go through the torture of reading my f+cking tweets?? Have you heard of the Twitter word UNFOLLOW?

I love Twitter. And I am not giving that up because of your insecurities, whoever the hell you are. Go get a life and don't bother me.

Stop killing yourself by reading my tweets because it's not my fault. You have the right to unfollow me. If you can't stand to see my face on your Twitter timeline, then GET OFF MY F+CKIN' PAGE!!

[End Rant]

.........................................................



Hello leah, you used to be cool, but now you're not. Your inner beauty made your physical beauty shine even more... but that was THEN. Now, you're just another blogger who can use words but your words are empty. I miss the old you.

With who you are right now, I have seen imperfections that I never knew existed with your old self. You clamor for attention, but you want so much of it that you're pushing people away.

But that is who you are, or perhaps who you want to become. I just wish you happiness. If what you're trying to achieve now makes you happy, then by all means. keep doing what you're doing.

I do get annoyed sometimes that you try to act like someone you're not. I miss the simplicity that you once had, it was parallel to how you look and who you are. Take care!





Thank you. I never really thought that I am cool. I thought of myself as weird. Good weird. I have imperfections. I have flaws. And that just makes me human. It's nice to know that you did find me cool at that time. And I'm so sorry if you now find my words empty. That was the saddest thing for me. Empty words.

Have I changed? Yes. But for the better or for the worse? Judging from the tone in your message, I'd say for the worse. That is your observation and I respect that. But it would have been nice to have you respect me, as well. You should have told me your name. You should have talked to me and reached out to me. Instead of having to resolve the issue that YOU have found in me, it got me really confused. If there is something wrong, you should have confronted me. I can take it. At least, you're not as hostile as the one I've mentioned above.

We all have imperfections, and I guess, one of mine is being so talkative on Twitter. But do I clamor for attention? No. I really don't.

If you've read my post a couple of days ago, I've mentioned that I tried STARPing.. or RPing. Role Play. It's like having conversations with fictional characters. Most of the time, they only use regular tweets instead of mentions. That way, the followers and everybody will be able to see the conversation. If this is the crime.. then I apologize. I will try to avoid subtweeting and will tag the persons I'm talking with.

Yes, sometimes I act like someone I am not. Just because I have a RP character. Also, a lot of retweets and shoutouts are done in the RP world. At least, that's what I've observed.

I, personally, do not crave attention. But my Twitter character does.

"Iba ako sa totoong buhay. Iba ako pag nasa Twitter ako. Madaldal lang po ako kapag online. Halos hindi ako nagsasalita kapag sa personal. Madaldal kapag nasa Twitter, lalo na nung pumasok ako sa mundo ng RP at nagkaroon ng "virtual character".

I don't push people away. I don't. I just don't. Did I push you away? If I did, then I must have done it without really knowing about it. For that, I am sorry. The only problem here is that I don't know who you are. How can I make it up to you, if I don't know where to start? How can we patch things up and try to resolve things if I don't know who you are?

We all change. People change. I am enjoying Twitter. I am happy. But upon reading your messages, it got me so confused. And not knowing who you are, got me a bit paranoid. I don't know where you're coming from, and I don't know why you were able to say those things.

Is it too straining for you to give me a nudge and say "Hey, can we talk?"..



35 comments:

  1. I am really really sorry that you're having to go through this kind of stuff Leah. Like I said if there is anything I can do to help then let me know. At the very least I can try and keep you happy and smiling. I think they could possibly both be from the same person. I hope whoever they are though they do read this, and either leave you alone, or take the step to actually contact you properly, so you can solve this problem. I wish you nothing but luck and love, and while I may not be able to give you any luck, I can at least show you some love <3 Words can hurt, but they can heal too, and I hope mine make you feel better after what these ones did to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I hope so too. It would make a big difference if they actually come out and reach out to me. I'd be more than willing to talk with them.

      Really? You think they're from the same person? ... But the first one was so full of hatred. The second was more calm. I dunno. Maybe. Maybe not.

      Yeah, They really do hurt. I'm not a professional blogger.. I mean, I only blog about random stuff about my life and about the things around me.. And to say that my words are empty, they really hurt. But yes, words can also heal. Yours did.

      I've been getting that love from Twitter.. so thanks Mark. hehe. <3

      Delete
    2. I told you to tell me if you left a reply :P It would but as we've been talking about on Twitter I'm not sure they can. I've been a bit like this person myself before. It takes realizing and accepting that what you're doing may be hurting the other person to change and better yourself.

      I can be full of hatred and then just like that the next second. That is what happens when I get angry actually. I'm full of hate and then it just washes away and if I hurt someone, I feel really bad and try to correct it. They still talked bad about you, and still said hurtful things, so from the sounds of it, it's the same person. They kind of felt bad, but not enough to take back what they said.

      I'm glad I made you feel better, I really am :) I don't think anyone is a professional blogger though. Some might say I am, but I don't see it. Plus I don't get any money xD If words are important to you, and I think they are for you, at the very least your opinions and views are, then for someone to say that you don't mean them, it's the worst feeling in the world. I can't stand that myself.

      I'm glad you feel the love too <3

      Delete
    3. I really did.. I must have closed the browser too soon. The tweet didn't go through.

      So you're saying they're from the same person. I guess. But whoever they are or whoever he/she is, I hope she stops there. If she really cares for me, as a friend.. I'm here. All he/she has to do is reach out.

      Yes. That part really hurt. I mean, this blog is full of my opinions, ideas, views, etc. :( Oh well.

      Yes Mark. Feeling the love. Thanks very much. <3

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    4. Hehe well you tried :)

      I think it's just likely to be from the same person, but that doesn't really mean it is. It just means there's a possibility. It's explainable at least. Just because one was nice and one was nasty doesn't mean they're different. Though not everyone is like me :) thankfully.

      I'd be really hurt if someone told me I used empty words. Especially someone I was talking to because of how much I can compliment a person. I mean everything I say. Considering some of the things I've said to you, you should remember that :P

      <3's for you. <3's.

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  2. *super tight*

    kahit ano pa pong sabihiin nila you are who you are. wag na lang magpaapekto wala ka naman pong kasalanan eh you can't please everyone sabi nga nila may pagkakataon talaga na magkakaroon ng misunderstanding at mga hater na tulad nila.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Super Jaid. We really can't please everybody.. Salamat sa super tight hugs. :)

      Delete
  3. *hug! (Avatar state!)*

    no matter what they say, stay the same....,

    i know you are being true to who you are, and that's what will matter...., although there's the fact that you can't impress everybody..., but heck there's still the thought that you're not alive just to please somebody..., you are who you are... God made you special

    again,

    *hug (Avatar state!)*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Avatar state! APA! Yip yip! ;)

      Thanks, RM. I'm just having fun on Twitter. But apparently, I did something he doesn't like. The frustrating part was that I don't know who he/she is.

      Anyway...

      Avatar state!! :D

      Delete
  4. di ka nag-iisa... may maligno din na nagcocomment sa blog natin... yaan mo lang sila, isipin mo sikat ka kaya ka tintitira, isipin mo din compliment yang anonymous na yan, Haters are your biggest and no.1 fan.

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    Replies
    1. lol. Maligno talaga, ser Moks? hehe..

      Sabi nga ni Gohan (RP character), "Haters are my biggest motivaters.". Great life principle, right? :)

      Delete
  5. Pffff what a douche.
    Try not to get too worked up over this. That guy's just another douche on the internet in a sea of plenty. His negative opinion doesn't matter. Spend the attention you're giving him to the positive feedback you get. ;D
    Also, it's okay you're changing. Just keep on doing what feels right, doing it in the way you like best, and it'll all be fine. It's your blog, we, the readers, should just take it or leave it, and not get fed up if your style changes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mark and I had this conversation on Twitter, that maybe he/she's got this perfect image of me in his head.. and that the changes I had, interfered.. or kinda destroyed that perfect image. And now, he can't handle this new change. But that's just it. We're changing all the time.

      Hm.

      Anyway, thanks so much for your words, Fang. Much appreciated. <3

      Delete
  6. Our tweets are reflection of who we are and from what I've been reading on your tweets, I can say that you are a sweet person. Sobrang harsh nung unang comment. You don't deserve that even the second one and kahit sino maiintindihan ang reaction mo. Lahat siguro ng bloggers and nagtu-tweet hindi deserve masabihan na mamatay na. You're right kung ayaw nila ng tweets mo di dapat mag unfollow na lang. Hayz.. Hug na lang kita. Isipin mo na nga lang you cannot please everybody. Basta tuloy tuloy lang ang saya a twitter. Whoever they are don't let them take away the things that make you happy. The sweetest revenge is to ignore them. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah. Yun lang.. Sana kung ayaw nya talaga, unfollow lang nya ako. Instead, nag-iwan pa talaga ng masakit na salita eh.

      "The sweetest revenge is to ignore them." Gotcha. :) Thanks, Mayen! *hugs* <3

      Delete
  7. akala ko sa showbiz lang may mga ganyan. Wag mo ng dibdibin masyado leah dalawa lang naman silang di natuwa sa tingin ko mas marami ang happy. Mahirap talaga pasayahin lahat.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah. Thank you po, Kuya Rommel. ;)

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  8. Cheer up Leah. The first one is scary, if I'm The one who got a message like that I don't know what I will do, I'm very emotional. 2nd one like you said is someone who used to be closed to you.. And I just realized that I'm playing detective! Hehe.. By the way I'm your follower in twitter and everytime I open mine I see a lot of your tweets, but you are right too, if they are not happy about it there's the unfollow, it's just one click! Tsk Tsk there really so many weird people nowadays.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe.. nung mabasa ko nga po yung messages, ms Violy.. I also played detective. :D Ay? you're following me po? Check ko nga mamya yung followers' list ko.. wala sa TL ko ang updates nyo eh. Baka hindi kita na-followback.

      Exactly. There's the unfollow. Sana inunfollow nya na lang ako para di sya ma-bad trip at iwas stress sa kanya.

      Delete
  9. Aww I'm sorry you have to go through this. It sucks that you can't enjoy yourself without being ridiculed for it! Maybe you should just block anonymous comments so that they can't get posted on your accounts

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    1. Yeah. My friend told me, "things like that always happen when one is having fun." I turned off the anon comments/questions on Formspring. Thanks, Hazel. ;)

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  10. KAW NA TEH! dont worry, ganon daw ang punong hitik ang bunga, binabato. just dont get affected, though i know quite difficult, and just think of happy thoughts and be at your special place. hope you're better now!

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  11. They're just a jealous douche....but a nice reply :)

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  12. Parang showbiz ah!
    I know the power of words, and wishing someone dead is one of the baddest thing a person can utter.
    This can be too much for you to bear but Leah, let this be a reminder of the trend of this time..
    Cyber bullies are everywhere, and the only way to win over them is to not let them go under your skin.. I understand you being furious and confused, as a fellow blogger we want to keep a very good harmony with our readers, to the extent that we personally talk to them, but what protects us from scrutiny is the 3rd wall that is in between.
    I feel for you, and you've said your piece here, let us hope that this person could sort out what his/her intentions maybe. :)

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  13. Oh gosh, I just read this Leah. I'm sorry if you're going through this. Hayaan mo na yang dalawang yan. Wala lang maisip na maganda sa buhay nila, at nakikialam pa. I love your last line, if they got issues with it, why not talk to you directly, or send you message na hindi anonymous. Or unfollow. We all feel sometimes that we want to please everyone. As for your case, alam ko na alam mo hindi posible yan. I'm sure nalagpasan mo na ito at this point. I support you at whatever you do Leah,at marami kami at your back. Ipagtatanggol ka namin! Yeeeehaaa! :)

    Cheers!

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  14. kung sino man yan, sana mahanap nya ang peace of mind para di siya manira ng kapwa niya. naku!

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    1. be at peace with whatever you do & ignore those who pass judgment; any fool can do it and most fools do. SMILE =)

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  15. @leah: *hugsies* chillax lang.. :) ikaw na ang may hater! ikaw na ang sikat! :)

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  16. These haters/stalkers over-analyze bloggers too much. Sa tingin ko mahilig lang talaga sila mang.asar ng tao.

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  17. nu nu nu nu nu nu nu nu Super Leah!
    (like batman..)

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  18. Very well said Miss Leah. you pwned them.

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  19. wow what a meanie. :(
    people like this are just best left alone. there is nothing one could possible gain by fighting over the internet. you handled the situation pretty well. i hope these haters stop bothering you. you're changing in a way you see fit, and i think that's all fine and dandy!

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  20. everyone should just mind their own friggin' business. just continue doing what you love doing, leah. as long as you're not hurting anybody that's fine really. ♥

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  21. hello po ate leah, napadaan lang ako.. na miss ko lang blog mo.. tagal na kasi ako hindi nakavisit and nagblog haha :)

    I've tried to go into your twitter account to view your tweets and I found nothing offensive.. all I can see in that twitter account is a "Sweet Loving Leah" haha you sure love that person named Brick? :) cool... Life is full of haters and critics, we must learn from them and let them say what they want, they always have something to say for us because of our imperfections but they don't know who they are.. We move.. they will talk about us.. We don't move.. they will still talk about us.. OMG! you have a lot of fans! haha

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    1. Hehe. This may sound a bit freaky.. but Brick is a RP character. He's Brick of the RowdyRuff Boys. Yung male counterpart ng Powerpuff Girls. Yun. hehehe.. I like the way his writer RPs, so ayun, I developed a liking towards him. Ambabaw noh? hehe.. eh enjoy naman eh. :D

      Yeah.. Siguro ganun lang talaga.. Oh well..

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