*Two messages in one blog post. Divided. The first one's for my hater/stalker. And the second one's for the "concerned" person who left me a message in Formspring. I'm not sure if they're the same person. Or maybe the first one is a boy and the second one is a girl. Both are anonymous. Never left tracks. Please excuse me for the use of some nasty words. I'm sorry but I don't want to edit them anymore.
I've never thought that a single question on Formspring will get me fired up to make a blog post.
Napakaingay mo at immature! Bakit di ka pa mamatay?
Translation: You're so loud and immature. Why aren't you dead yet?
I got the same message last month. This person left a comment in my blog post and said the same thing. I don't know this person. He's so freakin' brave to not leave his name. Yeah. He left an anonymous comment wishing me dead.
I think it's safe to assume that this person is talking about me, being very loud on Twitter. And it's also correct to assume that this person is following me on Twitter. He or she does have a point. I talk/tweet too much. I know that. I am not denying that. And maybe he or she is not having any fun at all at reading my tweets.
Sure, Twitter is a true test of self-control. But it is also one of the best medium for self-expression. Twitter is a mini-blog. There, I am able to say what's on my mind in brief summaries. There, I'm able to communicate and have conversations with people from across the globe. There, I'm having fun.
Now tell me this. Why is it MY fault if you're not?
I don't get why you really wish me dead. Did I do something to you? Did we even meet? Did we talk on Facebook or have conversations on Twitter? Have I pushed the wrong buttons, triggering such hostile emotions? What did I do? Did I steal your lunchbox or something? Did I eat your cookie?
Why do you hate me so much and wish that I'm dead? Why do you f+ckin attack me, bitch?
What I don't understand is.. if I am tweeting too much and I'm getting too "loud" for your taste, why do you have to go through the torture of reading my f+cking tweets?? Have you heard of the Twitter word UNFOLLOW?
I love Twitter. And I am not giving that up because of your insecurities, whoever the hell you are. Go get a life and don't bother me.
Stop killing yourself by reading my tweets because it's not my fault. You have the right to unfollow me. If you can't stand to see my face on your Twitter timeline, then GET OFF MY F+CKIN' PAGE!!
Hello leah, you used to be cool, but now you're not. Your inner beauty made your physical beauty shine even more... but that was THEN. Now, you're just another blogger who can use words but your words are empty. I miss the old you.
With who you are right now, I have seen imperfections that I never knew existed with your old self. You clamor for attention, but you want so much of it that you're pushing people away.
But that is who you are, or perhaps who you want to become. I just wish you happiness. If what you're trying to achieve now makes you happy, then by all means. keep doing what you're doing.
I do get annoyed sometimes that you try to act like someone you're not. I miss the simplicity that you once had, it was parallel to how you look and who you are. Take care!
Thank you. I never really thought that I am cool. I thought of myself as weird. Good weird. I have imperfections. I have flaws. And that just makes me human. It's nice to know that you did find me cool at that time. And I'm so sorry if you now find my words empty. That was the saddest thing for me. Empty words.
Have I changed? Yes. But for the better or for the worse? Judging from the tone in your message, I'd say for the worse. That is your observation and I respect that. But it would have been nice to have you respect me, as well. You should have told me your name. You should have talked to me and reached out to me. Instead of having to resolve the issue that YOU have found in me, it got me really confused. If there is something wrong, you should have confronted me. I can take it. At least, you're not as hostile as the one I've mentioned above.
We all have imperfections, and I guess, one of mine is being so talkative on Twitter. But do I clamor for attention? No. I really don't.
If you've read my post a couple of days ago, I've mentioned that I tried STARPing.. or RPing. Role Play. It's like having conversations with fictional characters. Most of the time, they only use regular tweets instead of mentions. That way, the followers and everybody will be able to see the conversation. If this is the crime.. then I apologize. I will try to avoid subtweeting and will tag the persons I'm talking with.
Yes, sometimes I act like someone I am not. Just because I have a RP character. Also, a lot of retweets and shoutouts are done in the RP world. At least, that's what I've observed.
I, personally, do not crave attention. But my Twitter character does.
"Iba ako sa totoong buhay. Iba ako pag nasa Twitter ako. Madaldal lang po ako kapag online. Halos hindi ako nagsasalita kapag sa personal. Madaldal kapag nasa Twitter, lalo na nung pumasok ako sa mundo ng RP at nagkaroon ng "virtual character".
I don't push people away. I don't. I just don't. Did I push you away? If I did, then I must have done it without really knowing about it. For that, I am sorry. The only problem here is that I don't know who you are. How can I make it up to you, if I don't know where to start? How can we patch things up and try to resolve things if I don't know who you are?
We all change. People change. I am enjoying Twitter. I am happy. But upon reading your messages, it got me so confused. And not knowing who you are, got me a bit paranoid. I don't know where you're coming from, and I don't know why you were able to say those things.
Is it too straining for you to give me a nudge and say "Hey, can we talk?"..