Someone very important to me passed away this morning. Someone I hold dear.. close to my heart. I loved him very much.. My dog.. TeddyBear.
When he came into my life, I actually wanted to give him away. I didn't know why.. but I wanted to keep one of his brothers, not him. But my older brother told me to keep him. And so I did. I didn't regret making that choice. He turned out to be a very handsome dog.. golden brown healthy fur that covered his strong body.. an adorable black nose and the most beautiful doggy eyes.
He was very cheerful and friendly. He liked to spin around in circles when he was in a playful mood. He liked to play tag. He liked to have his back scratched. He liked to be petted.. He liked to run his body along my legs. He liked to eat! He was very fond of chips and cookies. He liked walks! He liked jumping into the car for a ride. He liked sticking his tongue out!
He didn't like cats. He hated cats. He didn't like to take baths. I found it cute that whenever I give him a bath, he'd be trembling.. but once it's over, he'd run around the lawn cheerily, full speed like a little puppy.. and spray water all over. Then he'd look up at me and ask.. "What's next?".
I'm sorry.. At the moment, I'm crying and laughing at the same time. Happy memories keep coming back to me and make me laugh.. but also sad that I won't be able to make such memories with him anymore. He's gone.. He's gone..
He was my best friend. He was one of the few who didn't leave me.. who was always there. Though I know that he cannot understand a thing, he just stood there and listened to me, just looking at me with those big round eyes .. and then I'd feel better. His presence alone made me smile.
It's just heartbreaking that I didn't get the chance to say goodbye.. I didn't get the chance to hold him when he took his last breath I was in my room.. asleep. I regret not getting out of bed when I heard him bark..I do.. in a way.. blame myself for being too sleepy and lazy to check on him. If only I had done that.. I should have..
It's difficult for me.. to be in this room.. in this house.. just knowing that he was once there. But just like Fall, his brother.. who had passed away years ago.. he wouldn't want me to dwell in the past. I have to move on.. And I will. That, I promise to them..
Goodbye, buddy.. I love you. So very much.. And I will never forget..
December 27, 2004 - November 7, 2012