Today, I'm having another guest blogger. She's a lady. I'm really glad that she accepted my invitation, considering that she's a bit busy lately.
Making a topic list for guest bloggers is kinda hard. Each blogger is unique and has his own forte. I have to consider what kind of topic would be suitable for each blogger, so that he can deliver it well. As I have mentioned in my previous post, I have some sensitive topics in mind. Topics that I really want to discuss and have someone else's point of view. I want to have someone who is not afraid of having readers who disagree with what he had written down. Lucky for me, my guest blogger for this week is kind and brave enough to discuss this one somewhat sensitive issue.
This guest post is about PREMARITAL SEX and VIRGINITY. To be more specific, virginity in women. Is it still important nowadays? Do 20-year-old virgins still exist? Here is Kamil Tibayan, my guest blogger.. and this is what she has to say.
I don't encourage young readers to read this article. Make sure you're 18 years old and above. And also, this entry is purely opinionated. So feel free to agree or disagree. If your boyfriend asks you to get on the next level, would you say yes or no? Yes, I'm talking about sex. You can do it all right, but the real question here is, would you regret it afterwards?
Having sex is as casual as it gets on in other countries. While few of our own believe the same, most Filipino still believe in marriage before intersection. In our defense, sex is a sacred thing and it is social norm to be involved with this kind of activity with your spouse only. Anyhow, we're not blind, so we know that not a few engage in this kind of activity even if they're not married. But still, we Pinoys usually want to give the best of ourselves to someone we believe (take note I say believe) will be ours forever and not just to a mere stranger we met at the bar.
If this is something we can talk about in front of our family dinner, the question is.. Do you think your subsequently-hiding-from-your-parents-while-making-out do you any good? I know it's thrilling. It's pleasurable. But in the end, it could be possibly just 90% lust or more. Parents tend to OVERTHINK. The moment they catch you in the couch locking lips with a guy, is also the moment they envision you being an undergraduate, jobless, single-mom with a poor baby to care for.
People say "Don't do it!", because it is much safer and easier to give advice. But in my opinion, you can do it if you think you are responsible enough to carry the consequences. Oh and I'm NOT only talking about getting pregnant and the likes. I am also talking about the emotions you'll experience afterwards. Some guys could easily dump you after getting what they want, and you don't want that to happen to you, right?
If a guy tells you he'll leave you because you don't want a trip to his bed, well obviously you know the principle in this idea, use your brain, ladies. That guy is a jerk. Remember that if you start giving him some, he'll want more, and some more and more, more, more. It's a never ending bargain 'till you had lost it all.
Anyway, I'm saying this because girls do have the privilege to say no, even if you're already in a dark, sexy, hot place, (wooohoo!) where you can freely do the deed. Stop and think. You're a super woman and I confidently tell you that. Why?
In digestion (clearly, this word looks lost in here but please continue reading), remember how you feel sleepy after eating a heavy meal for lunch? That is because almost all of our brain juices and most of our body blood circulates down to our tummy for metabolism. That's a principle you must remember. Meanwhile, the same principle also applies when a guy is having his "flag ceremony". Less blood circulation to their head and more to their... uhhmmm... "other head". Not that they don't think, but they think less during that peak. You, as a girl, can think more. So decide.
Unless you're interested in one night stands and the likes, I won't argue with you. But to those who are not, let me tell you that after the pleasure, the sweat, the peak, the climax and what's not, there's a thick dull period, that say, "BANG! Okay I'm done", and it is as if nothing happened, like a boss.
"Don't do sex." is a slogan for the social norm. It's safer and it is cheaper for explanation. I do respect that. But I'd rather say: "If you're in doubt, discard."
Again, you can do it if you think your responsible enough, but sadly that's not all you should think about. I told you to take note of the word believe, right? This is, if you believe without doubt that your guy could also be responsible enough of the same consequences as yours. So if you're in doubt of his maturity, I mean even just a little tiny bubbly little doubt, DISCARD! Or okay.. maybe just wait a little longer to drop the bomb.
You're not in a marathon, so DO NOT hurry! You don't need to do it even if everybody's been doing it. There's a right moment for everything. Be patient.
So what's your answer? Is it a YES or a NO?
In conclusion. In our society today, there are lots of women who are ready to spread their legs for money. As with men, there are lots of them who are ready to pay for pleasure. Having pre-marital sex is the norms. Though I'm sure that there are still many men and women out there who still considers important factors (such as moral values, religious beliefs, unwanted pregnancies and getting STD's), before engaging in sex, it cannot be denied that such acts are committed frequently, at almost everywhere.
Having sex is like giving away a part of yourself. It's not simply about being naked, giving someone an orgasm and "getting it on". It has intense emotional consequences. The physical consequences ( pregnancy, STD's, etc) and the emotions that go with it. Feelings of pain, hurt, regret, guilt and even hostility arises. These can be pretty intense. It is a physical and emotional experience and it can affect our lives in ways that we cannot fully understand. Everyone's opinion about SEX and VIRGINITY is different. Some would want to wait until the right time comes or the right person arrives. Some would give in to peer pressure because they don't want to feel left out. Some would try just to satisfy their curiosity. And some would give in just to satisfy their partners. Whatever reasons that person has, only he/she knows them. As for me, having sex is NOT a crime and I'm all up for it, as long as I believe that my partner is responsible enough to show some backbone once unexpected consequences arise.
The decisions to engage in premarital sex and to lose one's virginity are very personal decisions, indeed. It is always an option to seek advice from a friend or a parent. And though they may have excellent pieces of advice to share, in the end, the decision is entirely up to you.
"Sex should be an expression of love — not something a person feels that he or she must do. When it comes to sex, there are two very important things to remember: 1) that you are ultimately the person in charge of your own happiness and your own body; and 2) you have a lot of time to wait until you're totally sure about it." - Anonymous
About the blogger:
Her name is Kamila Tibayan. She's a 20-year-old Filipina. A native of San Pedro, Laguna, this lovely lady loves to write and read books. Her choice of reading materials are non-fiction books and inspirational stories. She likes people-watching and eating out with friends during her downtime. A quote by Robert Fulghum, "Being an adult is dirty work, but someone has to do it." is her favorite. You could follow her on Twitter. Username: @kamilkshake. Do visit her blog, The Road To Kill and read her great posts.