Heaven and Hell
Hello lovely readers of Super Leah. I'm Mayen and I blog over at Clicks and Cuts. I’m so glad to be your acquaintance today and hopefully someday we become good friends. When our dear friend here, invited me to guest blog, I feel honored. Wouldn't you if you were invited by awesome Ms. Leah herself? I bet you’ll say yes.
Now, I am going to talk about our little heaven and hell here on Earth. Intrigued? I hope so.
To most of us, home is where we feel the safest and where our loved one resides. Often we call it our little heaven on Earth. Unfortunately, there are others who call their home hell. Hell, because once they step on their front door, they know Satan is waiting to make them suffer again and again.
It’s not uncommon to us that violence is present in some families. Daughters being raped by their father, wife being beaten to death by her husband, son being molested by his father or other male members of the family, the scenario is endless. Yet, we cannot tell for sure by just looking at a person if he/she is abusive or not. Same goes with the victims of abuse, often, we cannot tell, if someone is in an abusive situation or not. People involved in this circumstances varies from poor to rich, uneducated to educated, nobody to famous or good looking to not so good looking. In other words, anyone can be abusive or victims of abuse.
Can you tell who among your peers, co-workers or co-church goers, call their home hell? Or can you tell who among them Satan is? Not until they tell you outright, or announced the world that they are. However, I’m sure none among them will tweet saying..
"Done raping my daughter #crossfingers, she wouldn't tell anyone"
"I beat my #wife @liza to death last night. Find out more on today's blog post http//ou.ka."
"My husband @akoni0609 just finished burning my legs with iron #mayherotinhell”.
The point is, to this day, when our society is becoming more and more liberated and people are becoming more open about their lives, the issue of violence in the family is still being hushed up. There are several reasons people involved, especially victims, kept quiet about it. One is fear. Yet, fear is connected to many things.
- Fear of bringing shame to the family and to themselves.
- Fear of another family member being hurt if they tell.
- For most wife, fear of leaving their children in the hands of their abusive husband in case she decided to leave the marriage.
- Fear for her and her children’s security, because her husband is the sole bread winner.
- Fear of being killed by their perpetrator if they tell.
Another common reason for keeping quiet while they endure abuse is that, they are still hoping that a miracle will come their way and stop the abuse. However, an abusive person almost always does not stop. They are exceptionally apologetic when they feel guilty though, but as soon as their patience is put to test they will snap again in no time.
There are studies that conclude most abusers were also victims themselves during childhood. Therefore, brings this social issue into a cycle. Unless someone stop abusing the members of their family, the cycle will goes on and on. Who knows, one of you might fall into the hands of an abusive person.
I would like to share this information, I found online years ago that will help you, especially women, to determine whether your current partner (boyfriend, fiancée, and husband) is potential abuser. However, I don’t eliminate the fact that there are some men who also suffer from abuse. Men can also benefit from this information. Before we proceed, let me just tell you that there are 2 types of abuse, verbal abuse and physical abuse.
You have to remember that abusive person is often, passionate, supportive and madly in-love with you but with negative characteristic such as these:
How to determine if your Partner is Abusive before He Actually Hurt You
From this Link: http://www.ilrctbay.com/upload/custom/abuse/content/abusers.htm
- Irrational and baseless jealousy
- Keeps track of what you are doing all the time and criticizes you for little things.
- Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family, or going to work or school.
- Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs.
- Humiliates you in front of others.
- Destroys your property or things that you care about.
- Threatens to hurt you or your pets, or does cause hurt (by hitting, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting).
- Uses or threatens to use a weapon against you.
- Forces you to have sex against your will.
- Blames you for his/her violent outbursts.
- Easily gets angry and shouts at people who he thinks has lower statute in life (driver, maid, waiter or guards)
If your current partner possesses a lot of these characteristics, maybe you should consider getting out of the relationship as early as now. If you are already in an abusive situation you should get help now or tell someone you trust and ask for his/her help. There are several organizations that assist women and children survivors of violence. You should act now before it’s too late. Give yourself a chance to find your little heaven on earth and leave Satan to rot in hell.
In Social worker’s or to people who work to eliminate domestic violence, once a person come out from an abusive situation, even if he/she is still on the process of healing, we already consider her/him survivor. The world survivor alone can create a sense of pride to a person from abusive situation, which happens to almost lost his/her worth because of the abuse he/she endured.
I hope you learn something from this. I’m sorry if I gave you a long read today. I can’t help it. I want so badly for abuse to stop that’s why I tried to share as much as I can about domestic violence.
Remember, every person has worth and dignity and nobody has the right to take it away from them.
"There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people." - Muhammad Ali
About the Blogger:
I'm Mayen, engaged, currently in a long distance relationship and I am a licensed social worker. I know that doesn't sound as good as engineer or architect or doctor, but it's a profession that's also requires 4 years in college and a license in order to practice. I just thought I’d share that information since, a lot of people are not aware of that fact. I love reading novels, eat sweets, I can dance but I can't sing and I create beaded accessories. Well, it's pretty hard squeezing all the words that describe me in one paragraph. Nonetheless, I have a blog that will tell you more about me, in case, you want to get to me better. I am looking forward to get to know you all as well! See you at Clicks and Cuts? Yes? Perfect!