Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Day 18 - Being Single

Day 18.

"Share your thoughts about the advantages and disadvantages of being single."

When you say "single", what comes to mind?

My simple definition for this term is "someone who's not into a relationship, basically someone who's not married". Nowadays, there are just so many negative talks about being single. A person who is "single" is often viewed as someone who is alone, depressed or someone who may be desperately seeking companionship. Most especially, during the so-called "V-day" or the "Day of the Hearts", persons who are single are often percieved as lonely.

Though this is true to some, there are individuals who have willingly accepted "singlehood". There's nothing wrong with being single. Some people prefer to live with an individual frame of mind. And the need to find love really depends on the person, really. Besides, love can be found in different ways, from different origins.

So what are the advantages and disadvantages?

Being single has its perks. One could really see it plainly, if only he could set aside the prejudices, the stereotypes and negative ideas about being single.

  • Freedom and independence - Being single means you have more freedom. Being single means you can be your own person. It allows you to be spontaneous. You can basically do as you please, go where you wanna go, make life decisions on your own. You don''t have to worry about a partner's reaction, because you answer to no one but yourself. 
  • Time - Being single means that you have your time all to yourself. You can make your own schedule. You can make time for your family, friends, career, hobbies or for pure "lakwatsa". You can make spur of the moment decisions to visit an Aunt, to watch a movie with a friend or to go shopping! All the time is yours for your personal enrichment or pleasure. 
  • Money - Just like "time", being single means that you have your money all to yourself. You have complete control over your spendings. Being single gives you the freedom to spend money on yourself without the guilt. You earned it, it's only reasonable that you pamper yourself a bit. Being single gives you full financial freedom. (However, being single does not mean that you should spend every penny. You still have to make responsible decisions with regards to money.) 
  • Annoying Habits - Everyone of us has our pet peeves.. about ourselves and about other people, as well. You don't have to worry about not getting some sleep at night because your partner snores. You don't have to clean up after your partner's mess. You won't have to wait long hours because your partner takes long showers. You won't have to fight for a blanket at night because you have the whole bed for yourself. Being single frees you from experiencing stress caused by these annoying habits. The only annoying and disgusting habits that you'd have to live with are your own. 
  • Becoming aware of yourself - When you're in a relationship, you tend to change yourself so that your partner would be impressed. You change the way you look, and you do things that you don't normally do. You are defined by your relationship, and in the process, you lose yourself. Being single gives you the perfect opportunity to be and develop yourself. 

Of course, there are also disadvantages to being single.

  • Care and comfort - No matter how brave you are, there will always be a time of weakness. And it is human nature to seek comfort from someone who really cares. Aside from family and friends, the person you'd really want to talk to is your partner or spouse. Having a partner who cares and supports you could boost your confidence. Being single means that you don't have that special someone have your back.. The kind of comfort only a partner can give. 
  • Loneliness - This is the worst part of being single. When you're in a relationship, you have someone who is ready to talk to you when you have problems. A shoulder to cry on, someone who listens to your stories, someone who's ready to join in your crazy activities, or someone who'd tell you "enough". Being in a relationship means you're having a bond or a connection with a someone other than yourself. Being single means you don't have that privilege. 
  • Celebrations and Holidays - During special occasions, it really feels very good to celebrate them with other people. And there's nothing worse than celebrating the holidays alone. Of course, you could spend them with family and friends. Still, spending time with a special someone seems better. 
  • Children - If you're still in your teen's or twenty's, this one doesn't really count. But when you're in your thirty's and still single, you'd start to feel that huge hole in your heart. Every time you see moments between a parent and a child, you'd feel envious. This feeling is a real disadvantage of being single. For kids, their parents are the two most beautiful people in the world, and there's no better feeling than that. 
  • Sex - Of course, when you're single, there would be no physical sexual contact. Unless you decide to get intimate with random strangers (which I do NOT advice), if you're a female, your only companion in your big bed, every single night is your pillow or a stuffed teddy bear. You won't have someone to cuddle with. And that can be really lonely. Well, if you're a male, I'm sure you can think of a lot of ideas to.. hmmm.. you get the idea. (Shutting up now.) 

To end this post...

The disadvantage? You won't have children. Aside from having your family, you'd probably wind up alone and somewhat lonely. lol..
The advantage? Well, you could always line up to catch the bouquet on someone's wedding. LOL.

Do you have something to add to my list? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of being single?


  1. Nakarelate ako ng todo. Haha. Kasi naman ang dami ko naranasan nung naging single ako. Kahit na nakakasad na mag-isa ka, pwede pa naman maghintay eh. Sa ngayon, masaya ako because I have my life back. Haha.

  2. natawa at natuwa naman ako dun sa bootomline...unlimited sa kakasalo ng boquet... hehe... be SISA. Single and satisfied :)

  3. awww wala na akong madadagdag kasi halos lahat nasabi mo na dito ate. tama si yow pwede pa namang maghintay kahit papaano.

    be positive lang para lumapit ang swerte.hahaha

    isang macoconclude ko. parehong masaya kapag single ka at nasa relationship ka.

    anong mas mabigat? still yung may karelasyon ka. why? kasi mararamdaman natin ang full blast ng loneliness at pagiging alone kapag tumanda na tayo. yung iba hindi pa naiisip yun dahil one reason is that they can take care of themselves at this point but then when you get old and helpless, doon na magsisimula ang longing.

    the heart needs someone to talk to. i assure you that. kahit pagbalik-baliktarin mo pa ang mundo, darating ka parin sa point na hahanap ka ng kalinga at pagmamahal na higit sa mga taong iyong kadugo. :)

  4. nasabi mo na halos lahat. :( pero IMHO be happy yon lang. matutong makontento.

  5. lahat ng post na nabasa ko puro love. love is in the air na. tingin ko we should wait for the right time. mag-enjoy habang single tapos be happy kapag dumating na si partner.

  6. may post ako nito kaso advantage lang pagiging single hehehehe

  7. @Yow: Totally true. Iba ang pakiramdam kapag single. Wala kang iniisip na reaksyon mula sa partner mo, mas nae-enjoy mo ang buhay. Pero that does not mean na single ka ngayon eh single ka na forever. The time will come.. he right time will come when you'd fall inlove with the right person.. Pero habang hindi pa dumarating, enjoy being single muna. Apir, Yow! Pak!!

  8. @jhengpot: Yeah. Hehehe.. Medyo funny nga ano.. but it's true na rin. Kapag single ka, lagi kang tinatawag sa kasalan para magsalo ng bouquet ng bride. Hehe. Hindi mo na mai-enjoy yan kapag married ka na.. toinks! So so true! SISA! :)

    @Kyle: Tama, Kyle. People can find happiness and love, single man sila or married. Pero syempre, being in a relationship is more... fulfilling. Kasi nga, it is human nature to seek comfort and LOVE from another human being. Hindi yung tipong maibibigay ng isang kapamilya o ng isang kaibigan.. kundi yung maibibigay ng isang kabiyak. Very well said, Kyle. I love your comment.. :)

  9. @MangPOldo: Be happy.. true. Happiness and love really depends on where the person stands, emotional and spiritually. One could be happy with or without a partner... Still, mas okay kapag meron kang kabiyak. Hehe.. :)

    @Billy: Yes, darating lang sa tamang panahon si partner. Habang wala pa, enjoy life being single.. It is great! :)

    @Bino: Bakit advantage lang? Wala bang disadvantages? hehehe... :)

  10. You will die alone if you are single?

    Hindi naman siguro ma'am. Kung maraming nagmamahal sa iyo eh sasamahan ka nila.

    Sa totoonga merong hindi single ang namamatay mag-isa. Minsan kasi yung mga anak, iniiwan nila ang parents nila at pinababayaan na lang.

  11. @Ishmael: I pointed that out, based on my definition of the term "single" - not in a relationship or not married. Since you're single and you chose to live as that, then you'd probably be living alone and then die alone.. no kids, no husband or wife.. no one there to talk to during dinner, no one to cuddle with at night.. you know, the usual stuff one could do if he or she is married.. And without a partner, you'd probably be feeling lonely. Hehe..

    Single. Hindi ko na dinala yung ideya ng nanay or ng tatay, or ng pamilya. Because all of us has families and friends. That's the idea. Got it, po? :)

  12. Oi! Don't say sorry.. I love it nga kasi you offered your opinion. I just explained my side.. kasi medyo vague rin ang conclusion ko. It's totally okay. You don't have to say sorry. I welcome different opinions.. :)

  13. Hehehe nice post Leah! :) When I was still studying, I didn't have a boyfriend so I need not arrange my schedule to fit him in it.

    Now that I have a boyfriend, I realize I can still do whatever I want. I feel blessed because he doesn't stop me from growing but instead, he grows with me. :)

  14. hello po!!! I'm just a newbie but like the others, I like to share my thoughts (pang ms. universe?!) *ahem* napansin ko lang (biglang tagalog?) this love-month, ang mga single na yata ang nag-ru rule... I mean maraming tips about enjoying a life being single... Is this a phenomena? BTW, I don't still don't have a boyfriend pero hindi nman ako bitter... Kala nila maghihiwalay din sila, hindi sila magtatagal, grrr.. take note hindi ako bitter... I swear!! Happy heart's day po!! Nice post...

  15. Being single is just a choice but it does'nt mean you don't have love infact this is the very first reason for some people why they are so pre occufied and lost the time of finding one.Single people are the most romantic people on earth in my opinion. para silang sponge eaabsorbed ang kahit na anong darating sa buhay niya.diba leah.