What is your latest LIFE realization?
Stop living in the past. Look forward to the future. BUT live the present.
For 30 years, I've been living under the shadows of my past. I'm so afraid of venturing into new things because of what I did in my past. I'm so afraid of trying and risking, because I'm afraid that I might screw things up. I've been living in my comfort zones.. and it was getting very very boring. I thought, I should do something about this.
I've always felt that my parents do not trust me. I don't blame them. I really did break their trust several years ago. That's the funny thing about trust. It takes years to build but it only takes a second to destroy.
I was afraid of doing things my way. Maybe because I'm afraid I'd fail, thus disappointing my parents again. Everything that I did, I was always so hesitant because I might end up hurting them again. But it was late December when I realized that I have to take charge of my life. I mean, how will I be able to stand up if I'm afraid to fall? So I made the first step. I told them that I want to travel and take a vacation for a whole month... by myself. They said yes.
I've never traveled by myself before. Everytime I go outside of the Panay Island, I'd be having someone with me.. either a family friend (to watch over me) or a yaya. Yep! I'm a spoiled brat. I'm used to just board the plane or the ship without worrying about tickets and fees. I'm used to just follow friends or my nanny-friend to guide me through the jungle-like metropolitan because I've never tried reading a map. Honestly, it's pretty easy to be just like that.. but I'm not getting any younger. I should be out there, experiencing things on my own. I convinced my parents to give me this chance to go out.. to trust me again. And I think they finally did.
I went to Manila for a month-long vacation. BY MYSELF. Yippee! I was scared. What if I get lost in Pasig? What if I ran out of dough.. how will I be able to buy food? I'd be staying in Manila for a whole month. What if I get robbed? What if that... What if this? Yeah.. I was so paranoid. But well, I did it anyway. I went there and explored Manila. With some friends with me, I went to visit some of the beautiful places there. Of course, there were some occasional setbacks like losing my train ticket, losing a thousand pesos or panicking because of the house fire next door. But well, those did not dampen my enthusiasm.
I really had a great time. I was able to travel alone, went to beautiful places there and was able to make new friends. I'd definitely go back. Hopefully, by July. Oh, and if fate permits, I also have plans of going to Palawan, Cebu and Davao. I just have to save enough money first. Going on a trip could be very dangerous to one's wallet.
Before, I was just contented with living in my comfort zones, here in my little town called Miagao. I'm too afraid of the world that I didn't want to go out. But then after that vacation, I realized that the life has so much more to offer and that I shouldn't just waste it, sitting in a corner doing nothing.
To some, my realization may seem shallow, but this is what I'm feeling right now. I am now living my life and it feels great! There is always a new adventure waiting for me and I wouldn't want to miss it ever again..
Care to share some of your latest realizations?