Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Day 30 - Realizations


Day 30.

Question.
What is your latest LIFE realization?

Stop living in the past. Look forward to the future. BUT live the present.

For 30 years, I've been living under the shadows of my past. I'm so afraid of venturing into new things because of what I did in my past. I'm so afraid of trying and risking, because I'm afraid that I might screw things up. I've been living in my comfort zones.. and it was getting very very boring. I thought, I should do something about this.

I've always felt that my parents do not trust me. I don't blame them. I really did break their trust several years ago. That's the funny thing about trust. It takes years to build but it only takes a second to destroy.

I was afraid of doing things my way. Maybe because I'm afraid I'd fail, thus disappointing my parents again. Everything that I did, I was always so hesitant because I might end up hurting them again. But it was late December when I realized that I have to take charge of my life. I mean, how will I be able to stand up if I'm afraid to fall? So I made the first step. I told them that I want to travel and take a vacation for a whole month... by myself. They said yes.

I've never traveled by myself before. Everytime I go outside of the Panay Island, I'd be having someone with me.. either a family friend (to watch over me) or a yaya. Yep! I'm a spoiled brat. I'm used to just board the plane or the ship without worrying about tickets and fees. I'm used to just follow friends or my nanny-friend to guide me through the jungle-like metropolitan because I've never tried reading a map. Honestly, it's pretty easy to be just like that.. but I'm not getting any younger. I should be out there, experiencing things on my own. I convinced my parents to give me this chance to go out.. to trust me again. And I think they finally did.

I went to Manila for a month-long vacation. BY MYSELF. Yippee! I was scared. What if I get lost in Pasig? What if I ran out of dough.. how will I be able to buy food? I'd be staying in Manila for a whole month. What if I get robbed? What if that... What if this? Yeah.. I was so paranoid. But well, I did it anyway. I went there and explored Manila. With some friends with me, I went to visit some of the beautiful places there. Of course, there were some occasional setbacks like losing my train ticket, losing a thousand pesos or panicking because of the house fire next door. But well, those did not dampen my enthusiasm.

I really had a great time. I was able to travel alone, went to beautiful places there and was able to make new friends. I'd definitely go back. Hopefully, by July. Oh, and if fate permits, I also have plans of going to Palawan, Cebu and Davao. I just have to save enough money first. Going on a trip could be very dangerous to one's wallet.

Before, I was just contented with living in my comfort zones, here in my little town called Miagao. I'm too afraid of the world that I didn't want to go out. But then after that vacation, I realized that the life has so much more to offer and that I shouldn't just waste it, sitting in a corner doing nothing.

To some, my realization may seem shallow, but this is what I'm feeling right now. I am now living my life and it feels great! There is always a new adventure waiting for me and I wouldn't want to miss it ever again..

Care to share some of your latest realizations?



19 comments:

  1. masaya di ba? self reliance and confidence and more pa will be gained by going out and exploring alone...nakakaenjoy when d places, people and experience teach us lessons along d way too! nice Leah!

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  2. the realization isn't shallow, it's huge! to learn to live in the present and get away from the past is something that needs a bucket full of guts to do. I admire you for the courage and perseverance in doing things your own, though it's really nice to have someone do things for you, still the fulfillment in doing thins on your way is something you'll treasure forever.

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  3. @LASER Uu, super saya. The very first time I boarded the plane, I said to myself.. "Ahhh, so this is what travelling along feels like.". Hehehe... Exciting talaga. Uu nga at medyo paraning ako, pero all turned out well naman. It really feels great to do things on my own.. to be independent, in a sense. :)

    Thanks for the visit, Laser. :)

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  4. @Sey Aww.. Thanks Sey. Naisip ko lang, baka masabi ng iba na kaartehan ko lang. Spoiled brat kasi.. Lame. Pero these things really did happen. Oo nga at I'm already 30 when I decided to take charge, pero it's never too late diba? hehehe...

    So true. Iba ang feeling. The fulfillment in doing thins my way, grabe talaga. You could basically shout.. "Hey, I DID that on my own!". Hehe.. Woohoo!! :)

    Salamat sa pagdaan, Sey. :)

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  5. Good for you Ms.Leah, truly happy for you. Ako naging rebelde ako on what age? I think I was 12. But not to rebel na halos ikamatay na ng parents ko.

    At that age I tried to explore the world. No, I did not drink, nor smoke, because I actually I was blessed to met people who are good influence.. masama nga lang rebelde me nung time na yun. But I had learned.

    At true yun, you need to start working on your own path, sooner or later you'll stumble, but that's life.

    Hmmm.. live life to the fullest ika nga.

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  6. wow, na moved naman ako,heheh, ang totoo nainggit ako.hehe, may mga part na nakarelate ako,may mga bagay na gusto gawin pero hindi pa pwede, at susundin ko na talaga yan "live life to the fullest". nice

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  7. Leah... hinid ko na pahahabain ang comment ko sa blog post mo na ito.. pa iiksiin ko na lang.. "SAME HERE"...

    sa unang talata pa lang...

    nakuha mo na ang interest ko... I too had been living in the shadow of my past... mahirap pero wala akong magawa.. siya ang humahabol sa akin.. ang bangungot ng kahapon...

    ikalawang talata... same here again... I felt like my family, relatives and everyone that surrounds me,, eh wala ng tiwala sa akin...

    ikatlong talata, sapul ako sa ulo.. uu.. ganyan din ako.. I am afriad of doing things my onw way.. kaya nga last year nilakasan ko ang loob ko.. at nag abroad na ako... kasi ito na lang ang last options ko.


    ikaapat na talata mo... ako naman.. eh walang problema sa pagbyahe.. ever since I was 18.. nagtatravel na ako mag isa.. at hindi lang local destination.. puro internationals parati,.. ever since 16 ako.. makailang ulit na akong naka punta ng Malaysia... Brunai at Thailand.. para magbakasyon lang... weeeee....


    ikalimang talata: umalis ako sa amin.. para matakasan ang lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman.. at sa manila ako nagpunta.. only to find out na maslalo akong napasama... muntik na akong maRAPE.. joke...

    ikaanim na talata mo: OMG!!! I just realizzed na hinid pa pala ako nakakapunta ng Cebu.. hmmm... makapunta nga duon one time... hehehhe... maybe pag uwi ko... ano? sama ka? blehhh

    ika pitong talata: The world has so much to offer my dear.. be it for bad or good.. you can have it... go out and multiply... eh este enjoy.. huwag mong borohin ang sarili mo sa iiisang lugar lang... pero just remember... you have to know your limitation.. knows when to stop and rest.. and dont forget to look back...

    Ika-walong talata: don't worry my dear.. ang realization mo naman ay para lang sa sarili mo.. at yan ang importante.. ang makita mong masaya ang sarili mo.. dahil kapag malungkot ka.. malungkot din ang mga taong nagmamahal sa iyo...

    hala siya.. tulad ng sinabi ko.. hindi ko na pahahabain pa ang comment ko sa iyo... pasmpleng "Same here" na lang

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  8. ang iksi lang ng comment ni Al.

    natuwa lang ako sa paraan ng pagkwento mo. mga side comments na nakakagaan ng mga kaganapan pero alam kong di madali para sayo dahil ngayon mo lang siya gagawin. Buti naman at pinayagan ka na ng mga parents mo to go out. Pagkakamali ng mga magulang lalo na sa mga babaing anak ang sobrang pagproprotect dito. bawal ang ganito.ang ganyan at kung ano ano pa.Seguro may mga takot silang bigla na lang mawala ang knilang unika iha nila. Nangyari yan sa mga kapatid ko na kaming mga lalakig kapatid ang nagagalit sa kanilang paghihigpit.May positive at negative effects yan minsan tuloy may mga takot ang babaing di naman dapat.

    napapahaba na ito. tama na muna. basta enjoy mo na lang ang lahat ng gagawin mo leah at alam kong magagawa mo ang gusto mo.

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  9. Leah, i admire your courage. at least ngayon you learn to be on your own. Yon yong importante.

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  10. @Kamila Aww. really Kamil? Nagrebelde ka rin dati? Hmm... hay, siguro nga lahat tayo naging rebel din, one way or another. Ako, actually... I did not drink not smoke nor tried pot.. Naging rebel lang ako sa studies ko, and I spent a whole lot of money on things that I don;t really need..

    Yeah.. live life to the fullest. Thanks Kamil. :)

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  11. @-mark- Ahh.. bakit kaya hindi pa pwede? Hehe.. Naintriga naman ako. Hmm.. I think there is no right time nor wrong time to do the things that you wanna do. Kumabga, anytime.. you COULD. Depende na lang din siguro sa determinasyon mo.. sa passion mo.. sa pagnanais mo. Kung talagang gusto mong gawin, eh di.. find ways na magawa mo (but be responsible na rin.. hehe). Live life. Coz' you'll never really know when it will end. :)

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  12. @musingan Oh wow! Sobrang ikli nga talaga.. Same here lang ano.. :D We are so much alike pala in so many ways.

    Yun talga ang greatest hesitation ko.. I was afraid of doing things kasi baka masaktan ko ulit ang pamilya ko. I'm afraid of failing. Eh hanggang sa inabot ko na tong edad na to.. haha.. Still, age is just a number.. adn it;s never too late to start living. :)

    I love the last part of your comment, Al.."dahil kapag malungkot ka.. malungkot din ang mga taong nagmamahal sa iyo.." I never thought of it that way. Kasi dati, naiisip ko lang.. mas okay na ako na lang kesa sa masaktan pa sila. But eto, naisip ko rin.. nasasaktan nga ako, tinitiis ko.. pero in the end, baka umabot pa ang time na masumbatan ko pa sila.. that I;d blame them,, masasaktan ko rin sila. Ayoko rin namang umabot pa sa ganun.

    Thanks Al.. I love your comment. Lab na kita.

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  13. i just realized that life is too short. :)

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  14. @Diamond R Hello Kuya Rommel. Hehe.. Oo nga eh, super iksi. hehe.. But aylavet. :)

    Oo nga. Yu n lang talaga ang medyo nega.. kasi super protected na ako. Andaming mga advantages to being the only girl in the family and the youngest. Pero meron talagang mga negative na dala.. like.. medyo nasasakal ako. Hindi ako makakilos talaga kasi laging may nagbabantay.. hay.. :) That was way back in highschool and college.

    Now, okay na. I still feel their eyes boring at my back.. hehehe.. pero compare dati.. medyo okay na ngayon. Proof is my Manila vacation. :)

    Thanks po, Kuya.. I will. :)

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  15. @pEarL Thanks Pearl. Tama.. yun lang talaga ang importante. I won't let the fear of striking out stop me from playing the game.. Thanks for the visit, Pearl. :)

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  16. @arvin bautista So true. Life is short. Kita mo nga.. yung nangyari kay AJ Perez. Aksidente. natutulog lang, hindi na pala magigising. Kaya talaga, live life to the fullest. Kasi you'll never know talaga kung kelan darating ang oras mong magpahinga... at mawala na dito sa earth.

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  17. Leah na maganda.... just letting u know that I'm passing you the Versatile Blogger award na binigay din sakin... weeehhh.... tsaka, absent muna ako for the next few days, holy week eh, may raket kung saan. heehhe... pero may scheduled posts naman akong iniwan. :-) Happy easter!!!

    The award is at http://mareeyah.com/ako/2011/04/21/i-got-an-award/ ... go ahead and claim it. :-)

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  18. wow. you lost a thousand pesos and your train ticket plus had a house fire next door all while you were in manila? wow. glad you survived all that, though. hats off to you! you should totally go and visit palawan, cebu and davao. they're really beautiful places. i liked palawan best of all. it's the least developed area, but the most beautiful and the most fun in my opinion.

    glad you're learning to do things on your own. i'm trying to do the same. :D

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  19. Yup, you're right, living in the past really hinders one to move on and enjoy life..

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