Saturday, July 16, 2011

Forgiveness


Hello again. I didn't get to visit you guys this week. I got my patience stretched for 4 days now. I'd bet it's already a mile long. You see, last Monday, the people in my small town experienced an earthquake. The 6.2 earthquake hit Negros at around 4:47 Monday morning, and was felt intensity 5 in Iloilo city (where I live). It lasted for about a minute or so. No one got hurt, thank God.

The internet was down since Monday. They say the cables were damaged. Nothing I can do about that. So I opted to use my SmartBro Internet plug-it. Geez. The connection speed was like going on EDSA during a Friday rush hour. Oh yeah. Can you spell SLOW?

Oh well. Looking at the bright side, I can still check my mails and log in on Twitter, Facebook and G+. But yes, I haven't checked up on some blogs. I did visit some of my friends' blogs but only quite a few. 4 or 5, maybe? I am now making up for it. ♥

Anyway, I just wanna share this picture I got from Tumblr.




This is so true. We all make mistakes. And to grant forgiveness is not a sign of weakness.

Two days ago, I felt sad because of what I've read in one of my friend's blog post. And yeah, I was offended and I was hurt. I don't want to go on pretending that everything's fine. And so, I told them.. and all is well now. I think it's always a good idea to tell your friends what you really feel than to just keep those feelings bottled up inside you.

I also wanna share this quote.

Forgive and forget. That’s what they say. It’s good advice, but it’s not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores are never settled… old wounds never heal. And the most we can hope for, is that one day we’ll be lucky enough to forget. 
- Meredith, Grey's Anatomy

Is it hard to forgive? I'd say, no. But it is pretty hard to forget.

Everything can be forgiven. Big mistakes. Small mistakes. It just a matter of time. But it is very difficult to NOT remember the hurt and pain caused by breach of trust. Once your trust is broken, it will take time to gather up all the pieces.

Trust. It is the foundation of all relationships. Once broken, it'll never go back to the way it used to be.

Since human beings rationalize everything, it is hard for us to forget what someone did to us in the past. It is virtually impossible to forget. Breach of trust can bring about feelings of hurt, anger, guilt and even hostility. When someone you love betrays your trust, it hurts even more.

But we're only human. We're not perfect. We all make mistakes. Even stones have rough edges.

In the end, we really do need to grant forgiveness to people who has done us wrong. And we do have to stop living in the past and live in the NOW so that we can freely embrace our future.

After all, to err is human, to forgive is divine.


28 comments:

  1. penge ng link ng blog ng friend mo..hehe..read ko, gusto ko ma-offend din..hehe

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  2. ang ganda ng mensahe na nailathalang larawan na hinugot mo mula pa sa timba.

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  3. You are wise beyond your years, young grasshopper! :)

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  4. Pwede na.. Hehehe! Joke. May pagka-emo na din. UMI-EMO!

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  5. @Akoni: haha.. wag na. baka nga maoffend ka. lol

    @EngrMoks: Oo nga po, ganda ng message ano? Dapat nating isaisip yung ganyang klaseng ideya.. lahat tayo nagkakamali.

    @Yvonne: Why thank you, ms Yvonne. I'm blushing hehe..

    @Kris: Ay? heh. Bakit mo naman nasabing EMO? :)

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  6. Thats the reason why most religions teaches us to forgive, because if we don't forgive, then we will be miserable and our suffering will not end. Because if we dont forgive then the hurt is still there and we will always be the ones suffering from it.

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  7. gusto ko din malaman yung post ng friend mo pero di na lang. ahahaha

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  8. hangmature!!! bet na bet!

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  9. thats true. we can frogive, but we can't will ourself to forget..(;

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  10. Leah, parang gusto ko ring basahin pahingi. talagang na curious sa kung ano man ito.

    Pero ang mahalaga ay ang iyong nararamdaman sa ngayon.Kung di dahil sa kanyang ginawa wala kang pinaghugutan ng inspirasyon sa post na ito.Inpirasyon nga kaya? sabi nga lahat ng nangyayari ay may rason and we learn from it.

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  11. You're right. People do make mistakes. We make mistakes to other people, and they do also, to us. Pero I believe that time tells us when forgiveness will come, if not now.. :)

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  12. ay ito ung nkita kong usapan sa twitter itong 'offend offend' sumthing pero di mo pa rin sinabi anong blog un.. hehe! ok lang, importante everything is ok na..

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  13. ako hnd talga ako nanainiwala sa forgive and forget na an. hahahahaha. mahirap kasi yan. pero mas gusto kong kasabihan yung ganito

    kapag may taong gumawa sayo ng kasamaan, gantihan mo..ng kabutihan. hehehe


    nwei kikilabotz to ang hirap magpalit palit ng account eh. haha

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  14. Forgetting someone who did something mistake to us is very hard. We can easy forgive but sometimes to forget it is another story. Depende din cguro kung anong nagawa nyang mali, kung hindi talaga pde makalimutan wag pilitin.. hehehe

    napadaan lang po...

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  15. astig! pero yeah. di ako naniniwala sa forgive and forget wahahaha

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  16. For me, you can't fully forgive someone unless you forget what he did. Remembering the pain means you haven't done forgiveness.

    Well, it's just my opinion. :)

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  17. It's really hard to forgive and forget. Sometimes, it's pride that keeps people from forgiving those who have wronged them. On other occasions, it isn't pride that makes forgiving difficult, but the scars that continue to be a reminder of how deep the wounds other people have caused.

    I believe that in due time, people who find it hard to forgive will eventually find it in their hears to forgive those who did them wrong. :)

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  18. i agree that once trust was broken it will never be the same again between you and the person who broke your trust.

    I haven't heard about the earthquake. I guess that's because I rarely watch news nowadays. I'm glad no one was seriously hurt. :)

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  19. hi leah! ngaun lang ako nakabalik:) I'm glad ok kayo sa ilo-ilo...dami kong friends dyan... and xmpre pa, apektado din kami sa pagkawala ng net d2 sa aklan... ang matindi walang signal ang globe kit at smart bro... better na ung sloooowww connection mo :)

    Agree sa lhat ng sinabi mo about forgiveness :) forgive, don't forget... accept things, and learn... mahirap nga mabuhay na may dalang galit...

    TC!

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  20. Well, I've always thought of the term "forgive and forget" not really as forgetting, but leaving it behind so it doesn't interfere in the future. To do that, you have to see genuine remorse in another person.

    You know, that term comes from the Bible and God is the one who is supposed to "forgive and forget" and we are supposed to copy him. But God is perfect and thus would have a perfect memory. Obviously, it wouldn't be truly "forgetting" in the sense we think it means. It doesn't get deleted from the past. It still happened.

    It just won't be held against you any longer.

    It reminds me of a research book I did on memory and the brain. We don't really "forget" anything. We say we forget, but our brains catalogue everything that happens. There is no delete button. BUT we do, in a sense, misplace memories. We can't find where we stored them in our memory without context, so to us, it's been deleted. It's still there, in the back of your mind, the trouble is you can't find it.

    So, to forgive and forget, you have to put the painful experiences to the back of your mind. Don't let it effect future interactions.

    But then, we're human. Maybe one of my mistakes will be that I won't properly "forget" what you did to me that hurt so badly.

    Anyway, great post. I hope everything is calmer after the earthquake and that you are safe now. And I'm so glad no one died! Have a great day, and stay safe!

    P.S. Sorry for the long comment; you inspired me.

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  21. kaloka... pro tama ka.. lets forgive..... buti na lang wala akong kagalit sa ngayon...

    hirap kapag me kagaalit ka kasi nakakastress ng bonggang bongga....

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    ingats jan sa iloilo... hope safe.. and ung internet mo sana bummilis na para bumongga na ang pamamasyal sa world wide web...

    napadaan lang akezz.. nanosebleed ako ha.. but i survived to read englishhhh gow gow girl :) :D

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  22. Beautiful post!

    Regarding forgiving and forgetting. We can forgive yes, that is hard itself, but forgetting is even harder. And when do we stop forgetting? It may so be that some people request our forgiveness / ask us to forget the past because they will repeat history. If we kept on forgetting, we'd get used and abused.
    It's okay once or twice, but when do you draw the line?

    I agree with Meredith's quote from Grey's Anatomy.

    Hope all is well with you Leah.

    :)

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  23. hi! really nice post! :) full of wisdom...i've always believe in forgiveness...but somehow, can u consider it forgiveness when u juz want to avoid that person? like u don't hold grudges...in ur heart u have forgiven that person but u just cant stay in one room with tat person...anyhoo, i'm not holding grudges against anyone...i've forgiven someone but i think it's better if our paths don't meet... ;)

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  24. Forgiving is much easier than forgetting, and forgiving is hard enough. I think I can forgive but can I forget? No. I just "try" to leave it in the past, hoping to move on with my life.

    Merediths quoute is right, honestly.

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  25. @Xall: Maybe we could learn to set aside. Because as human beings, it is fairly impossible to forget.. I think, forgiving doesn't mean that you've forgotten. It only means that you've moved on.. me thinks. hehe.. Thanks for the input, Xall. :)

    @Katherine: So true. The scars are usually the culprit. Because of these scars, we find ourselves having a hard time granting forgiveness..

    @Kyla: Whoa.. Thanks so much for the very insightful comment. Oh don't you worry. I love long comments.. :) Much appreciated, Kyla. Thanks very much..

    @Nas: Hmm.. Made me think about what you said. You're right.. When do we really draw the line? I'm good, Nas. Thanks so much for being so sweet. :)

    @Ruby: It is NEVER good to hold grudges. It will only kill you slowly.. from the inside. It's best to forgive, let go and move on. :)

    To all.. thanks so much for the wonderful comments! Much love from me. Mwah!

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  26. you can forgive but the you cannot forget... pero you should forget to move alone on another chapter...

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  27. Hi Leah!! Thanks for visiting my page ^_~

    I can't help not to comment on this, hahaha!! I love everything you've said!! great thoughts. Actually I made the same thoughts din eh, hindi ko nalang ilink. Parang, when trust is broken what will happen next?

    So true that when you have betrayed with foolish acts especially it was done by your trusted people. It is really hard to just let that pain set aside after saying sorry.

    But if you look at the brighter side, you will tend to see that though we've been hurt, we learned a lot from that experiences and eventually forget what was happen instead take it as an advantage to become a stonger person we used to be.

    >> blog hopping ^_~

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  28. everything you said is so true!
    also, i'm glad you settled that issue with your friend. :)

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